Tip of the week: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

It's no good telling someone you love them if you never do anything to back that statement up. Loving someone means doing 'nice' things without being asked to. It's a feeling you get when you think of that person and you know, because you know you are loved. Loving someone is not always about doing nice things, it can also be about Tough Love. A new concept for some. Hard to do for the individual, and even harder for the recipient. If you tell someone you love them be prepared to back that statement with Action. Why would anyone send flowers for a funeral if they never sent flowers to them whilst they were alive. They're dead, they can't see them. It would have been better to send flowers whilst they could see and smell them and appreciate them. It is far more soul destroying and damaging to think someone loves you, but when the chips are down they are nowhere to be seen. Love is unconditional, but it is human nature to put conditions on it. We spend our lives wanting acceptance and affirmation, but who did you accept and affirm during the past week. We want help, but who did you help this week. If we spent less time in the frame of mind of me, me, me, and more time thinking of what we could so for someone else, you may not necessarily be saying directly  you love them, but indirectly Your Actions has spoken louder than any words. Did you do something this week to show your love, but even more importantly where you had nothing to gain???
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Until next time....

Tip of the week: You don't always have to have the last word to win the battle!

So often during confrontation we always have to have the last word. Leaving relationships fractured and raw.  What causes quarrels amongst you? Is it not through our selfish desire to always be right? We must have the last word, we must win the argument. We give little thought to the bitter words that are spoken and unfortunately cannot stuff the words back in once they are out! Words are powerful. You can either build someone up with a kind word, or you can tear them down with harsh ones. Your wife, your husband, your partner,children or friends can have their day get off to a bad start depending on how you greet/speak  to them. An evening can be ruined by harsh words spoken.
So how do we try and prevent this from happening - My answer would be you may know that what you are saying is right, but your partner does not agree, stop trying to get them to agree with something that they don't see or agree with and accept that not all the time will you see eye to eye.  Have enough respect and grace  for that person to agree to disagree. Sooner or later one of you will be proved right without any confrontation.  Let me illustrate this with a story and what confrontation can really do to you.
A husband and wife had a row one evening, so bad was their disagreement that the husband decided to sleep in the spare room.  The next morning the wife decided that the argument was stupid and petty, that it didn't matter who was right or wrong she just wanted to get things back on track.  She went into the spare room and jumped on the bed where her husband was sleeping, but she got no response.  He had died during the night.  She had no idea.  Let that be a lesson to all of us who go off into a sulk over something that needn't have happened.  Did it really matter who had the last word? I'm not suggesting that it was just the argument that caused his death, but the stress would certainly have had an impact. We know only too well what stress does.  You can imaging what her lasting memory will be of.  Her husband is dead and all she has left is words that have now become meaningless.
I speak to all of us who find it necessary to always fight to the bitter end to prove a point, but let me tell you that you don't always have to have the last word to win the battle. Not only is it detrimental to your health, but also to your relationships.
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