stop using your children as weapons

Hello again,
I feel that this article is long overdue and no one wants to really get to the nitty gritty of mother's who use their children as weapons against father's.

It is not a pleasant subject at the best of times, but one I feel that needs to be highlighted.

I would say that one of the hardest jobs in the world is being a parent.  It is not something that one can switch on and off.  When we have our children, of course we hope that we will stay together as a family unit. However, in many of the cases that I have encountered, people who should really know better behave in the most despicable way.  Mother's who through their pain use their children against the father's because they have either left or no longer see a future in the relationship. They want to punish the father's by not allowing him and his family to be involved in that child's life.  If only the mother's could see that it is beneficial to her and to the children for the father and Grandparents to see the children. All too often the mother discontinues the relationship with the Grandparents through no fault of their own.

If you think that you are mature enough to have a baby then surely you can see that having all the support you can get can only be a good thing.  The Grandparents are only concerned in seeing their grandchildren, they are usually not concerned with whatever argument has taken place between the parents, it really is nothing to do with them.The Grandparents are usually concerned with being a safe haven in what would seem to be a lonely and isolating existence.  The mother usually has 'friends' but they are not around when feeding time comes, midnight wake ups, changing nappies, comforting and supporting. when you feel completely exhausted and no one to turn to, creating depression and all sorts of ails.

It is time that women who have children whether it was planned or otherwise, need to wake up and stop being so selfish.  You are not thinking of your child when you mess with father's heads and change goal posts because you don't like the fact that you are no longer together.  Sadly we cannot have everything we all want, and yes it hurts, but in the meantime there is a child in the middle of this who never asked to be here so don't you think that now it is here that you as the responsible parent should make every effort to make that child's life mean something?

Have you any idea how many fatherless children there are out there?  I am not saying that father's do not have a responsibility, because they do. It is your responsibility to make sure that you maintain your child, that you love your child and let them feel valued. As often as time permits your child should know that the absent parent loves them.

Have you ever considered why we have so many troubled teens with drug, alcohol, sexual addictions, self- harmers?  Yes people it starts from a very early age, it's how your child views it's life whether they feel worth it or worthless.  Body piercings, tatoos and the bright pink hair, why do you think youngsters do this,?
perhaps you think it's because they have nothing better to do.  WAKE UP PEOPLE. Stop saying things like 'well I dunno how this happened'  YOU played a massive part in why your child goes off the rails.  Stop the selfish, spitefulness and allow your child it's RIGHTS they have the right to see their absent parent WHATEVER YOU may think of the absent parent. stop your children growing up in conflict and hating the absent parent because of a decision YOU made.