Tip of the week Know when to say Goodbye to a Relationship.

At what point in our lives when a relationship is not working do we say enough is enough? Do separations ever really work. In my opinion I think separations can be beneficial to both parties.  It gives time and space to think what it is you really want.  Sometimes having the space can actually make you realize what you have lost and that perhaps it can be worked through.  When you are both living under the same roof it becomes much more difficult to get a right perspective and what really works for you. However if you make the inevitable split, it can lead to much deeper emotions such as depression and regret. Sometimes we just need to take a back seat and self assess if the problem/s is you or them.  Do not get into the 'blaming game' as this achieves nothing but resentment. There are some couples where one will leave at the first sign of trouble and look for another partner in the vain hope that this time the relationship will be better. There are other couples who feel that they have been together for too long and going through the dating process and starting all over again is too much hassle, so they 'stick' it out getting more miserable by the minute and day. Why? This is quite an open ended question. Most of us fear being alone and abandoned. To face the 'black hole' and all the trauma and anxiety that brings they put up with anything. To be alone is to feel unloved and unlovable, this perpetuates the feelings of past situations and hurt.
There are some couples who don't even know if they are happy or not, they daren't go that far.  They shuffle along with their daily lives oblivious to knowing what their partner really thinks or feels. sometimes it is only when couples split do they ever realize just how unhappy they were in that relationship. It is more common for the woman to initiate a Divorce.  Not because they want it that way, but because of the partners behaviour. If couples could get to the bottom of asking why they are still in a bad or unhappy relationship rather than blaming each other for past offences and misdemeanour's. Once you start asking questions about yourself only then can things start to disentangle. Counsellors are notoriously famous for helping us to do just that 'disentangle'.  You have to know when to leave otherwise you may end up hating each other and not intentionally either.
It is equally important to understand that for the time you spent with your partner it was never wasted. The fact that you no longer fulfil each others needs or have the same dreams and goals is no reason to regret those years together.

If you need my help or advice please visit my website WWW.CounsellingRapidResponse.co.uk where you can contact me there.
Until next time...

Maniac Drivers

I am constantly amazed at the level of poor drivers let loose on our roads.  Whilst travelling this morning I was almost forced into bollards by a maniac driver.  Usually one expects these maniac drivers to be youngsters, but this driver was a mature man.  No wonder we have so many accidents on our roads and so many people are killed needlessly.

I who am not oblivious to road rage overtook him as soon as I could with a middle finger salute ! No wonder people say that women drivers are getting more aggressive.  It feels like every time you go out in your car you are taking your life in your hands.  It 's  not so much what WE do, it's what the idiots do.  There is very little courtesy on our roads anyway and everyone is in a rush. Hardly anybody bothers to indicate anymore. Why? Are we supposed to be mind readers as well as having to think what they might do.
I have been driving for 30 years + and the standard of driving has hit the pan. Please don't get me started on the young drivers they are a law onto themselves.
As far as I am concerned my life and those of my passengers are precious to me.  I have to have consideration for other road users, what's their excuse? How people manage to drink or take drugs and drive is mind blowing. It's bad enough with the sober ones, let alone those off their head. What seriously gets me is that you never see a police car around when you need one, but bet your bottom dollar, they appear out of nowhere when you don't.
Then you have the cars that drive with the sticker saying 'Child on Board' but they are driving at reckless speeds.  Did they not remember that they have a child on board, or do they think that other road users will make concessions for them because they have a child with them.? If you have a sticker in your car saying'Child on Board' then what are you doing driving at 80 mph on a dual carriageway. I see this all the time and it beggars belief.
Let's not forget the ones who like to drive right up your backside. Now what's their problem?
Travelling home one evening driving down a country lane, doing 50-60 mph, not unreasonably fast or slow when suddenly a range rover appears hammering down behind us and flashing her lights. We slowed down because we were not sure what exactly was the problem.  Turns out according to this driver we were going too slow for her liking and she proceeded to overtake flashing and increasing speed.  Who should it be? but Katie Price no less. oh excuse me, I didn't realize that perhaps if you are a 'celebrity' and I use that word loosely, the Highway Code does not apply to you. Just remember that when anyone gets behind the wheel of a car you are just another driver and the same rules apply whoever you are. To me you are no celebrity, but the driver of a killing machine !!!!

That's it for now, until next time....
As usual if you need my help or advice you can contact me via WWW.Counsellingrapidresponse.co.uk