Diabetes

Hello and welcome again to my latest blog.
I wanted to share with you how in just one week how my life has changed yet again!
Having suffered Pancreatitis 10 years ago, it left me with the condition of Type 11 diabetes.  It was devastating at the time and I never really accepted the condition.  Over the years I have struggled to keep a reasonable weight, (not easy because of my love of food) but knowing being overweight was not good have kept a close eye.
Just this week went to the doctor about one thing, and discovered that it was connected to the high sugar levels in my blood, to be told that I have to go on Insulin.  I cannot express clearly enough the absolute fear and dread that I felt.  I already feel dodgy about needles and having to do this EVERY day was a daunting prospect.  However, what I found useful was contacting Diabetes UK which I have never done before, and after that phone call I felt so much better.  It was a huge help knowing that it wasn't anything that I had done, but it is a progressive illness. I had begun to feel guilty thinking it was the cake perhaps or the biscuit or the sweets I had eaten over the years.  Phew !  Immediately, I felt absolved of all guilt.
On the day that I had to see the Nurse to show me how to inject, I felt a bit apprehensive, but listened intently as to how it was to be done and we had some 'dummy runs' with a rubber duck. It certainly broke the tension. Throughout all of it, I started to feel sad. It was almost as if I now had to admit defeat. Like I fought it and fought it and I lost.That sort of feeling.
What has made it even more spectacular is the fact that so many people have to be informed.  Yes, in 24 hours I will probably have my license revoked for driving until DVLA decide that I am fit to drive.(can take up to 6 weeks for them to gather and check info)  My license was supposed to run until I am 70 and now I have to be assessed every 2-3 years.  I discovered that I have been driving for 31 years, never ever had a parking ticket in my life and no penalties on my license, yet somehow because I am still considered to be a type 11 diabetic, but now having insulin all that changes. Oh and let's not forget the Insurance company on top of that who need to be informed.  I understand that some insurance premiums rise in some cases, as if they are not sky high already.  Oh and the icing on the cake, if you pardon the pun, is that every time I get into my car I have to do a finger prick test. You have no idea how many times I go in and out using my car every time.
That's some of the negative stuff.  Now let's discuss the positive for their must be some right?

I am told that I won't be dropping off to sleep at a drop of a hat. I will feel energized and ready to take the world on.  I guess those are big positives for me because I felt exhausted all the time. So it's not all bad.
I have managed to get my head around the whole idea of taking insulin and actually it isn't as bad as I first thought.  It was the fear of the unknown. The mind is a powerful tool and you and I can use it for negative or for positive.  I have to just look around me and see how many people are disabled, blind, deaf, amputees,
and recognize that I have nothing to complain about.  At least I woke up this morning.  Do you really understand how many people went to bed last night and did not wake up this morning?
So I have to take insulin and there will be changes in my life to contend with, but a small price to pay for having some quality of life.  No room for pity parties !! Once again, as I have said in previous blogs it's all about the way you think.( I am not exempt from feeling sorry for myself.) The thing that always pulls me through is that when you think you got it bad, someone out there has it worse. It is truly a humbling experience. Look upwards and onwards and enjoy your life.....

If you need my help with a problem please do not hesitate to contact me via my website :WWW.counsellingrapidresponse.co.uk    You will find me there.

Legalism or Merciful?

It would be good if we felt great all the time.  Whenever crisis strikes you can choose to do the right thing. If you never have crisis you will never build character. Anger is an emotion that is not necessarily wrong,it's what you do with it. We all have emotions, but anger is usually the one that surfaces pretty quickly. You always need to do the greater thing when you have been wronged. Not easy in anyone's book.
You can change your life radically by not following your emotions. Make a positive declaration that  you will not be 'ruled' by your emotions.
Legalistic takes away from Merciful. A legalistic person is usually a perfectionist who judges, criticises and on the whole harsh. Merciful is the opposite it forgives quickly. Here's a useful tip, Be merciful to others because one day YOU may need THEIR mercy.
Scars remind us of where we have been- they do not have to dictate our future! I have been broken many, many times, too many scars to mention. I could have become a drug addict, alcoholic, promiscuous.  Anything to block out the pain and the hurt.Being angry and judgemental all the time virtually ruined my life. Others could see it and responded accordingly causing alienation . I know first hand that being angry hurts no one but yourself. My brokenness didn't just happen, it has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. Being merciful changed my life in more ways than one. It gave me the opportunity to realise and understand that bad things happen to good people, that life is not fair and to have no expectations.  It teaches you that situations and circumstances change all the time and recognising that sometimes things happen beyond your control. So being stressed and angry is pointless. I had to drag positive out of every negative.  Understanding that people let you down whether it be your spouse, partner, friend or family.  Legalistic people tend  to look for flaws and imperfections in others. They do not forgive and they certainly do not forget.
Being merciful offers the opposite and gives the offender the opportunity to put things right and even if they don't, you will feel better for it,  Leave it to their conscience and let them have the sleepless nights.  Not you ! There is nothing good or clever in seeking revenge.  I could have done that my whole life through. I would have had to ask myself at what cost to me?  I spent too many years being legalistic  being bound up in my own pain regurgitating all the horrible things that I have been through.  Pressing forward and forgetting what's passed  only serves to make you stronger and builds resilience.  My brokenness from which I never thought I would recover from it,.  I am the living, breathing proof that you can be free from what legalism can turn you into.
What will you choose, Legalism or Mercy?

If you would like my help please visit my website @ www.counsellingrapidresponse.co.uk  you will find information there available on how to contact me.