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Wednesday 23 November 2011

Tip of the week: Forgiveness is the beginning of YOUR Healing !

When someone hurts you so badly that you think that you will never recover, thinking about forgiving them is the last thing on your mind. People have asked "Why should I be the one to forgive, I've done nothing wrong".  Fair point, but you are not doing it for them, you are doing it for YOU. Some people think, just as I once did, that somehow by forgiving you are absolving them from offences caused.  Not so, you will probably never forget the offences done to you, but by forgiving them you are releasing yourself from bitterness and resentment.  Bitterness and resentment is like a poison that permeates through your whole body. Your whole countenance changes and instead of having a 'butter' problem that affects your heart, you have a 'bitter' problem. Forgiving someone's offences does something good for you. It may mean that you will never see or speak to that person again, but you will have peace in your heart. There isn't a single problem in life that I have not encountered.  For years and years I was angry at people who had done me so much wrong. They just got on with their life and never gave me a second thought. The anger, bitterness and resentment was turning me into a monster. I suffered with Depression, ill health, anxiety, insomnia, you name it, it was there.  I kept people at a distance and isolated myself, so that no one could hurt me again. Or so I thought.  It really doesn't work and trying to build relationships with no trust is like having cheese on toast with no cheese!
As I have already said, when you choose to forgive the offences it does something for you. I have already previously blogged about changing the way you think.  I remind you of that blog because it is a choice to forgive. You may not 'feel' like forgiving, but as humans we need interaction, not isolation.We're not supposed to be solitary people.  The years of abuse I put up with, slowly seething and boiling. Forgiving them does nothing for them. It also does not negate what has happened, but personally we only have one life and I am not going to waste it on allowing offences to rob me of having a happy and good life. The experiences I have had has built my character and given me a 'die hard' spirit. It has made me strong and resilient.  I am empowered and enabled to help you.  I thank God that I saw the light as the road I was on was taking me to a mental institution or worse, multiple personality disorders.!!!  Instead, I am whole in mind and body. Dwelling on the past changes nothing. Regurgitating past events cannot change one second of what has happened. What will you choose? To be released from the pain and hurt, or continue to be bitter and resentful. You don't have to physically go and tell them. Do it in your heart, and then LET IT GO !!
Until next time .......
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